Motherhood involves a level of physical sacrifice and life restructuring I’m not sure I fancy, and I remain deeply unimpressed that this is the only model of parenthood available to me.
Great read (love the style). As a stay-at-home dad, I do a lot of the stuff you mentioned, and I’ve gotten some flack from apparent MAHA moms who say women are just designed to do those duties better, something I disagree with - it’s definitely easier for me as a large man to carry my son on my hip and push a shopping cart!
Oh Billy, so much praise and thanks to you for being a stay at home dad! It can't be easy. But pay no attention to those women. They're likely jealous they don't have you as their kids dad—it subverts their worldview on parenting into something that doesn't have to be the way they have it.
LOL@you with your son AND the trolley. I would have loved to see that lol
Bravo, Kelly, I love this. And I hate any of the pieces or people who say that women "aren't supposed" to feel this way, and it's not natural or normal or blah blah blah. To hell with them! Let it all out.
Being a father is fun, and I'm a pretty active one, spending more time with my daughter than her mother, so there is definitely something to being a dad. So many women struggle with post-natal depression and I think much of it is because of these ridiculous attitudes that mothers feel pressured into believing - 'oh, motherhood is wonderful, the best thing that ever happened to me, it never sucks, it's great, yay!'
Yep, I can see how much you like and love your daughter, it's palpable 🥰
I also never considered that post-natal could be one of the symptoms of the pressures to treat motherhood as 10/10, so thanks for opening my eyes to that
Well, Kelly from Wales, this might be your most significant post yet! Your English is as good as Ray Davies or Paul Weller, and I wish I could write in that great way English people have of using words, but I do my best. I guess there is a reason they call it English in school, and not American.
The ideas you put forth in here are spot on. I'm trying to reveal the same truths in my Kennedy Era Sitcoms. We're at a real critical historical juncture here where things like childbirth and marriage on a mass normalized scale may really be a thing of the past, but we haven't processed it as a collective yet. That caveman operating system is still running in the background, and it's annoying me. I'm glad you don't want kids because you were meant to write, and there are more than enough of them. Not to mention they are a thing of the past.
I meant to add, that there is a line by the comedienne Chelsea Handler that I can't get out of my head: "Stepdad... now that's a role I could handle."
Your writing is a breath of fresh air on here and has real voice to it. Paul and Ray would be proud. So enough of that please lol
It's just occurred to me, after you saying, that I DO feel the same sentiments in your Kennedy Era sitcoms! Maybe that's one of the reasons they stand out to me so much.
Thanks for recommending that Chelsea Handler bit..I just looked it up and omg, hilarious. it's the first time I've even heard anyone else say it! Thanks my jaffa cake, baseball loving friend xx
I enjoyed your essay. It reminds me of my feeling that marriage might seem more appealing if I didn't have to be "the wife." Social expectations make biology much more difficult!
I love that this title immediately made me understand that you’re not AMAB. Very incredibly well done there. Phenomenal article, still reading, in fact just started. But it’s already reading beautifully. I am in love with this idea. Really really well done. Ok, back to it!
But once little teddy gets into his mid 20’s he becomes an interesting caring human being. It’s the bit in between birth and then that can sometimes be a challenge and then eventually you get to be a grandparent and can enjoy them without all the side effects 😊
Great read (love the style). As a stay-at-home dad, I do a lot of the stuff you mentioned, and I’ve gotten some flack from apparent MAHA moms who say women are just designed to do those duties better, something I disagree with - it’s definitely easier for me as a large man to carry my son on my hip and push a shopping cart!
Oh Billy, so much praise and thanks to you for being a stay at home dad! It can't be easy. But pay no attention to those women. They're likely jealous they don't have you as their kids dad—it subverts their worldview on parenting into something that doesn't have to be the way they have it.
LOL@you with your son AND the trolley. I would have loved to see that lol
Bravo, Kelly, I love this. And I hate any of the pieces or people who say that women "aren't supposed" to feel this way, and it's not natural or normal or blah blah blah. To hell with them! Let it all out.
Being a father is fun, and I'm a pretty active one, spending more time with my daughter than her mother, so there is definitely something to being a dad. So many women struggle with post-natal depression and I think much of it is because of these ridiculous attitudes that mothers feel pressured into believing - 'oh, motherhood is wonderful, the best thing that ever happened to me, it never sucks, it's great, yay!'
Appreciate you for this Dan!
Yep, I can see how much you like and love your daughter, it's palpable 🥰
I also never considered that post-natal could be one of the symptoms of the pressures to treat motherhood as 10/10, so thanks for opening my eyes to that
I always like the grounded way you approach complex modern problems, what a clever think piece.
Thanks Doc! Appreciate
I feel you. Every once in a while that voice pops up saying "what if you regret it?" but I'm enjoying my freedom way too much to really listen.
Yes, the voice is a nuisance but doesn't last long lol
Well, Kelly from Wales, this might be your most significant post yet! Your English is as good as Ray Davies or Paul Weller, and I wish I could write in that great way English people have of using words, but I do my best. I guess there is a reason they call it English in school, and not American.
The ideas you put forth in here are spot on. I'm trying to reveal the same truths in my Kennedy Era Sitcoms. We're at a real critical historical juncture here where things like childbirth and marriage on a mass normalized scale may really be a thing of the past, but we haven't processed it as a collective yet. That caveman operating system is still running in the background, and it's annoying me. I'm glad you don't want kids because you were meant to write, and there are more than enough of them. Not to mention they are a thing of the past.
I meant to add, that there is a line by the comedienne Chelsea Handler that I can't get out of my head: "Stepdad... now that's a role I could handle."
Omg Seth! I bloody love you for this ❤️
Your writing is a breath of fresh air on here and has real voice to it. Paul and Ray would be proud. So enough of that please lol
It's just occurred to me, after you saying, that I DO feel the same sentiments in your Kennedy Era sitcoms! Maybe that's one of the reasons they stand out to me so much.
Thanks for recommending that Chelsea Handler bit..I just looked it up and omg, hilarious. it's the first time I've even heard anyone else say it! Thanks my jaffa cake, baseball loving friend xx
I enjoyed your essay. It reminds me of my feeling that marriage might seem more appealing if I didn't have to be "the wife." Social expectations make biology much more difficult!
Let's be each others husband!
I’d be good with that option!
I love that this title immediately made me understand that you’re not AMAB. Very incredibly well done there. Phenomenal article, still reading, in fact just started. But it’s already reading beautifully. I am in love with this idea. Really really well done. Ok, back to it!
Thanks Billy
You’re very welcome!
But once little teddy gets into his mid 20’s he becomes an interesting caring human being. It’s the bit in between birth and then that can sometimes be a challenge and then eventually you get to be a grandparent and can enjoy them without all the side effects 😊